I read this article on the nydailynews.com and it made me think of you, my boys…but for all the right reasons! You are WONDERFUL boys!
If this Brock was my son, too…I would say the same for him as I tell you, my boys. Obviously, he was not told these important things when he himself was a younger BOY.
Boys, your momma has taught you to always hold the door for “ladies, babies and old people”. I drilled that into your head when you were small, and I continue to do it today when you forget, don’t I?
You boys are growing up straight and tall, handsome and intelligent, strong and powerful. You, my boys, are going to be men one day real soon.
Being a man comes with some pretty hefty responsibilities. Your Daddy will clue you in to the really manly ones that mom’s aren’t supposed to know. Here is my list, my handsome young men who are set to take on the world.
1. Never. Ever. Hit a woman. Or a child. Or an animal. A man who strikes those who are weaker than himself is a coward. I am not raising cowards, I am raising men.
2. When you get older, you will encounter so many different things. One of them is going to be drinking. First of all, never drive drunk! Never, ever get into a car if someone has been drinking. No matter how old you are, no matter where you are, if you ever get into a situation where you find yourself drinking…call me. I will get you. Always. Oh, don’t get me wrong, you’ll get an earful the next day…but you will be safe. I will get you home safe.
3. You keep an eye on your little sister. Besides your mother, your little sister is the other most important girl in your life. Being a man means taking care of your women folk. You watch out for her, you keep her safe. As you grow older, if she tries to take off with some dude, you grab that girl by the ear and you drag her home. Protect her honor. Protect her.
4. If you encounter a drunk woman, help her. Don’t rape her. You men are strong, you’re handsome and you are smart as hell. You don’t need to rape an unconscious woman. You don’t need to rape anyone. If you EVER do such a thing, you can bet that I won’t be writing a “poor little boy” letter to the judge like Dan Turner, the rapist’s dad did. I’m going to kick your *** ass! And whats worse, when I’m done with you…your dad is going to kick your **** ass. And when he’s done, we’ll let your sister have whats left over. You wont be walking for a week…but you know whats worse? That girl will never be the same. Ever.
5. If your friends encounter a drunk girl. Don’t let them rape her! Stand up, be the man I know you are and tell them no. If you have to get into a fight over this unfortunate girls honor then you do it. Never be a party to such a terrible crime. You ALWAYS stand on the side of right! Your own Momma was a victim of this kind of crime. Your daddy was the best for helping me, but when you are older one day, you can ask him how deeply a woman’s spirit and soul can be wounded from such an act.
6. Brock Turners dad wrote a letter telling the judge his son shouldn’t be charged. My letter would be, “Judge, this little asshole did exactly what I told him not to his entire life. Throw his dumb ass in jail.” Oh, I’m still going to love you all right, my love is unconditional…but if it takes you going to jail to pound something THAT SIMPLE in to your head, then your going in the pen. I’ll still visit and will always stand by your side, but you aren’t getting away with it. Stand up. Be a man and don’t assault those weaker than yourself. Not only is it morally and ethically wrong, it is bad form son.
7. When you boys are old enough to have sex (like 30!!) If you get a girl pregnant, you better be a dad to that kid! Even if you don’t like that kids momma, you are taking responsibility for YOUR baby. I’ll be there, the whole time…and I’ll make sure you get to see your kid, make sure you can provide for your kid and make sure you don’t get overcharged on your child support…but your going to raise that kid, and you are going to do it right. Or I will STILL take you over my knee.
8. In your life, you are going to meet people of all different races and colors. You boys have been raised to see no color, but to look for the soul instead. There are amazing, wonderful people out there in the world of every shape, size and color. There are people who aren’t worth a nickel out there too. There is a bad apple in every bunch, never let one person sway your view of an entire population. You are Ho-Chunk Nation, You are NATIVE warriors, You are Korean warriors…you have incredible bloodlines! So does everyone else. Have honor. Be a man. Respect all the people you meet.
9. When the world and the going gets tough, don’t be afraid to cry. Crying won’t make you any less of a man. If you want to cry, you go right ahead. It simply means you have emotions and feelings and that you care. You are tough as nails, hard as a board, smart as a whip…you are some great young men! Who gives a * if you need to cry. Sometimes crying is going to help you NOT store that emotion and begin to turn it into something else-like anger or hate. Those emotions are like poison to your beautiful souls.
10. Sometime in your life, someone is inevitably going to try and pick a fight with you. Walk away when you can. Always walk away first. However, if your back is against the wall and you can’t walk away and you are forced to fight…then you fight to win! The second your opponent is no longer a threat, STOP! Don’t keep going…otherwise you fall back into the coward category…even if they DID start it. And they better have, I won’t have you boys out there starting fights.
My boys, you are going to be great men. I can’t wait to walk through your journey of life with you. I love you for all that you are, all you are going to end up being and beyond. You boys and your little sister, along with your daddy are my whole world! You might think I am being harsh on you sometimes, and some folks might even find this post harsh…but I have a responsibility to raise up some fine men….and I’m going to.
Completely agree! We need more real men to take action for any responsibility and consequence!
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I agree whole-heartedly! Thanks for the comment!
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All men should read this.I am sure you would make a great parent too.Good post👍😃
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Thanks! I love my kiddos to the moon and back, they are some AWESOME children!
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Thank you for this!! Seriously I cannot BELIEVE the letter the dad wrote. Clearly, some of this kid’s poor judgement came from his father. I haven’t heard anything from the kid’s mother, I wonder what she’s had to say about it.
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Thanks! I was wondering the same dang thing. I saw a pic with his Mom? on another site. He was holding her arm. Just from the pic I am inclined to believe she feels the same as the Dad does. I wrote this after I read that stupid letter…and my only thought was “man, my kids would be in a world of hurt if they did that!” I just couldn’t believe it! “only 20 minutes of action”. That little bastard and his stupid parents!
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It’s very sad in a way. I read a blog post (can’t remember where) from someone who grew up in his town, who’s kids were on his same swim team, etc. She didn’t really know him or his family, just knew of him. Apparently their town is a very nice area, privileged, nothing bad ever happens, and although most kids coming from an area like this grow up to be quite normal Brock is the exception to growing up with privilege…
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Each and every word that you have mentioned above has a very deep meaning to it. As a grown up boy myself, i recollect now the moments when my mom used to say these. Well back then i did not really care to her speech much, but today i realize how each word of her/your’s makes real sense.
I am pretty sure that with such a great mom backing her children well, your sons would grow up as a fine gentleman.
Kudos to you mam.
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this is a wonderful post! and I heartily agree. I would like to see one for daughters as well warning them of the risks there can be to getting so drunk you don’t know what is happening. Sadly not all men will be honourable.
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Dune Mouse! You read my mind from across the world! I was going to start a new series on my blog called Reader Wednesday’s! I was just getting ready to post the information!
On it I will pick one comment or inbox idea from my readers and we will make an entire post about it. I absolutely love your comment and look forward to writing your idea for our inaugural Reader Wednesday Post!
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oh I am honoured Larinnac. The world today is very daunting for young people and so much of it can be so overwhelming and negative. I found your blog through Br. Andrew and will peruse more!
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I grew up in a family of girls, and now I am raising my own boys. You made some great points which I will also use to raise my “men”! Thank you!
When I was reading your post, I was also thinking…..where is this Brock Turner’s mom?? Why did she not raise her son under those 10 points above??
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I got what you mean , regards for posting.
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