For our first Reader Wednesday, we are here to discuss a topic that Dune Mouse came up with.Dune Mouse wanted the women and girls today to know a few things. Dune Mouse commented on my post regarding Brock Turner; the Stanford Rapist that got off with a slap on the wrist by a ridiculous judge.
Dune Mouse wrote: “this is a wonderful post! and I heartily agree. I would like to see one for daughters as well warning them of the risks there can be to getting so drunk you don’t know what is happening. Sadly not all men will be honorable.”
Without further ado, let’s get into them. These are of course my words and Dune Mouses idea. Take a gander over to her page. She has many great things on her page! Her page link is highlighted.
Don’t forget to contact me with your own ideas of what you would like to see discussed next Wednesday. This page is about YOU! We want to hear what YOU have to say and what you want to talk about.
And yes, this is being posted a day late. My husband seems to think that I should mow the lawn now and then while he is working. It’s annoying. 🙂
To the girls who will one day rule the world, including my own little girl, I want you to know a few things that I learned as a girl and now I am wife to an amazing man and mother to three beautiful kids. A mature and grown woman standing where a girl used to be. A girl who made many of these same mistakes.
- You are incredibly beautiful. The way you walk, the way you talk. The way you sing slightly off key. The way you forget easily and the way the cry of a child makes you turn your head. The way a fuzzy puppy can melt your heart in an instant. The way you cry at a sad movie and the way your hormones drive you crazy sometimes. It all means that you are a woman. A strong woman. Never let anyone tell you different, no matter your size, you are beautiful. If you find there are some things you can improve on, real things, not a society’s perception of beauty, but real things you want to improve on, then start today. Tomorrow will always be tomorrow. Start now to fix what you want to fix. But again, don’t fall into the societal trap that says you should weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. We aren’t all going to fit into that criteria. We are all uniquely and unequivocally beautiful. YOU are beautiful.
- You can and should say NO! You have every right to say no. Don’t let yourself be talked into things that you don’t want to do. Sometimes your friends will, or a new friend will ask you to do something you are not comfortable with. Whether that is making fun of someone or all the way up to going to a strangers house after drinking for a nightcap, you have the right to and should say NO anytime you are uncomfortable. Saying YES isn’t just going to make you ‘fit in’. It won’t make you any more popular. If being popular is enough to make you break your own morals and standards, then you reevaluate the value of your friendships with the people you surround yourself with.
If you are still in school, don’t worry. Popularity is fleeting. Those beautiful, trim girls that seem to know everyone…well, a great many of them will change in just a few short years, some becoming nearly unrecognizable. I promise you that! If you don’t believe me, ask anyone you know who has been out of school for about 5-10 years. See what they think.
- You must be aware of your own surroundings… and yourself! Walking anywhere or into anywhere, you have to be aware of your surroundings. What kind of crowd is this? What kind of vibes am I getting off of it? As women we all seem to have a little bit of a ‘gut feeling’ in situations then men do; our women’s intuition. I am no scientist, but I would imagine that that is because as women, we have MUCH more at stake than men. Yes, men can still be raped, but not in the staggering numbers that women are. Men can and do become victims too. Keep an eye on your friends, all of your friends, and keep an eye on yourself. Leave in a safe manner if you feel you are not safe or are uncomfortable. Your safety depends on you, not to be laid upon your friends to take care of.
- What you do really does affect those around you. you can go out and do whatever you want, whatever your little heart desires. The problem is an anything you do, you don’t know if some ass is going to come and take advantage of you. Sure, you have friends…and they SHOULD take care of you; as you should take care of them…but you can’t depend on them to take care of you. You have to take care of you. Be aware of what you are doing. Be aware of how you are acting. Be aware of what is going on around you.
If you need to let a relationship go, let it go. Being single is NOT a curse.
- Don’t cheapen yourself. Hold yourself and your body in the highest regard. Value yourself more and don’t “whore” yourself out over the whim of a man you know isn’t going to be around, or to everyone you ‘date’. Stop looking to find LOVE and finding only lust instead. Don’t mistake the two.Just stop looking; love will find you when it is meant too. Don’t think that your value comes from hanging off the arm of a man (or woman if you swing that way). Your value comes from you. JUST YOU. Not you- the girlfriend, you- the fiance, you- the wife or you as the ‘arm candy’. Your value is your’s alone. Your value doesn’t go up when you have a significant other. Don’t settle. If you have mixed feelings about a relationship, then wait for a while. See if it really is something worth doing, given time you might realize what a mistake you saved yourself from making. The right person will give you time, and not ‘threaten you with leaving’ while you make up your mind. Don’t be talked into sex or a relationship because you are scared to be alone. Fill your life with things YOU like to do, don’t just fill it with a person. Depend on YOU to make you happy.
- Promiscuity is a double standard…but if you do want to go out and have sex with multiple partners, plan ahead. I am not condoning that, but if you feel you absolutely must… Communicate. Tell them exactly what your intentions are. Find out what their intentions are. Be safe. Be responsible. Communicate your intentions. Listen to theirs. Don’t put more into it than what they have told you they want. Don’t fall in love with everyone, for often you lose a little part of you when you give away so much of yourself to just anyone. Hold that beautiful head up high and make your own decisions. Communicate. Listen.
If you feel you absolutely must go on many ‘dates’ like this, tell a trusted friend. Where are you going? Who are you going with? When are you expected to return by? Safety is your absolute priority. Always tell people where you are going, if you feel you must go in the first place. Again, not condoning, but you are an independent woman and can do what you want, but place your safety before your tingling hoo-ha.
- Don’t mistake lust for love. We just touched upon this a couple paragraphs above, but I feel it must be reiterated. As Tim McGraw says in his song, “Always be humble and kind” The words I LOVE YOU is NOT a pick up line! Get to know a person first. Learn what makes them tick. Learn them, know them and slowly start off on a path to a relationship. Don’t jump into a sexual relationship. Don’t mistake their male hormones, or your own, for a deep undying love for you. Very, very seldom does love culminate just because your hormones tingled first.
- Always be aware. Always be vigilant. Keep an eye on your surroundings and the people in the area. In any bar or nightclub, as the night goes on, the crowd and the vibe will change. Be aware of that. You don’t have to be hyper vigilant, but you do have a duty to yourself to be aware of what is going on around you. Learn a few self defense moves for in case you ever need them. Know that bad things can and do happen. Even if you live in a small rural area, things do still happen. Just because you live in a ‘safe’ neighborhood or area, does not mean that you are impervious to danger. Pay attention to your surroundings and the people in it.
- You have a duty to yourself and all women-kind. It is ok to go out and have a few. Know your body, know your limitations, know when to say enough is enough and call for a cab or a friend to get you safely home. When you start to feel the effects of alcohol consumption sneaking up on you, call it quits for the night. Don’t just keep going. Don’t drunkenly put yourself in a situation where harm can befall you, whether that’s just falling down or falling prey to an opportunistic ass****. Watch out for your fellow women, and watch out for yourself. Keep tabs on yourself. No one should EVER rape anyone who is unable to coherently say no, but we all know that those types of things can and do happen. Make every effort to not put yourself into those kinds of situations. No one should ever take advantage of you, but the burden of protecting yourself ultimately falls to you. Never blame a woman for falling into that and suffering the consequences either. Help her, don’t blame.
- Be the example! Whether you realize it or not, the younger generations in your family are going to look up to you. The younger generation around you in school and work are going to look up to you. The friends that surround you are looking up to you. If you are a parent, your children are looking up to you.